If you need Batman

I like Batman, don't get me wrong. He's made of flesh and bones, makes good as well as bad calls, gets angry, feels guilty, and likes sexy cars. The man is easy to relate to. But do I want to work with him? Hell, no. Batman's actions say a lot about himself. His continued relevance says a lot about the environment he lives in. A city with a corrupted police force where mafiosi reign and people have crime for breakfast must need Batman of course. Does Zurich need Batman? Stockholm maybe? Probably not.

The problem with needing Batman is the very thing that makes him so relatable - he is just a man. He might be wrong. You might be wrong. But you probably do not have the means of destruction he has. The greatest damage you can inflict is mostly to your own image while Batman can get away with most things since he got it right so many times hence why he's got infinite credit. Put yourself in the shoes of local law enforcement, they get a daily free certificate of incompetence ending with "stop trying, we got Batman now". It demotivates the few not corrupted considering Batman rarely works in a team sharing intelligence. So he can do as he likes and if something goes wrong he'll just fix it Deus ex machina style.

How do you get rid of this creature? This wealthy and handsome Frankenstein. He needs Gotham as much as Gotham needs him. Without Gotham he is just Bruce Wayne and Bruce Wayne is a super rich nobody. Talking about nobody, nobody will save you from the superhero you created. The worst part is that nobody can save you since Batman has been getting all the action, the credit and the experience, the whole package. Your only hope is that Batman actually fixes your problem to the point where his ultra competence will make him superfluous. Just three pickpockets more until world peace...

So next time I see Batman trying to save a company, a project, a ticket or a chihuahua, I'll see this as a sign I must be living in Gotham, and I should probably move out.